Vanity is my favorite sin

What was the weirdest thing you did for vanity's sake? I've tried a few ones in my puberty and adult years -- some worked while the rest are too gross to print here.
Here are a few things I've tried:

• Put toothpaste or lipstick (whichever is available) on a zit. Apparently, the fluoride in the toothpaste dries out the pimple and eventually heals faster. This is, of course, my own scientific musings. It's not yet backed by lab tests and researches.
  
• Rubbed calamansi on my armpits for smoother, whiter and attractive kili-kili. This is tedious and so much hassle. I don't know if it really works because I don't do it religiously. Also, I find it very messy because the seeds get stuck in the drain. I'll probably use the calamansi with patis or toyo next time.
• Rubbed calamansi on my hands to remove detergent residue. It's so diyahe to have hands that are "nangingintab" after a night of scrubbing and hand-washing. Voila! The good old calamansi does the trick. It won't turn your hands like a baby's but it will at least smoothen out dead cells and "deodorize" detergent-soaked hands.
• Try brushing your toenails with plain soap and water every time you take a bath. I assure you, you won't need to go to the parlor for a pedicure in the next three months.
  
• Recently, I had a minor emergency case. Was frying lapu-lapu and was in the act of turning it to the other side when the super hot oil started bursting like a mad volcano. Aftermath? Scalding cooking oil all over my face, neck and right arm. In desperation, I immediately washed off the oil in running water and reached for any cream to soothe the burning sensation. Found a bottle of Face Shop oil-free moisturizing cream. I swear by its efficacy. I only sustained red patches of skin instead of ugly blisters that leave permanent scars. The only side effect: I look like I have a hickie sticking out in my neck.
• When I was a kid, I was especially fond of sucking sugarcane (tubo). The remaining pulp I used to rub on my teeth because my mother told us it was a good abrasive and it whitened the teeth. Looks like mothers don't know best all the time.
  

• Remember when you had your first, uhmm, period? What did your mother tell you? Well aside from "O, pede ka na mabuntis!" I also got the most stupid, grossest and out-of-this-world advice. I was told, half-jokingly, to wipe my face with my first, errr, leak so I won't have monstrous breakouts ever. Yack! At sino namang walang utak ang nakaisip nun in the first place? Kadiri!
• Still on monthly period, I was forbidden by my elders from taking a bath during my red days. Imagine if you're the type who bleeds for a week? The wisdom behind it kuno was since your pores are open during monthly period, there's a big chance na pasukin ka ng masamang hangin. Resulta? Ikaw ay magiging Sisa. Stopped doing this when I entered college. Nakakahiya sa roommates ko.

These are just some of the silly things I did for beauty's sake. For more wacky beauty tips that actually work, read on...